I have decided to move. I have been reviewing the functionality of several different hosting solutions, and the one thing I really don't like about blogger is that I cannot dump all my entries. So after reviewing several, I decided to go with wordpress. I think alot of my various reads have transferred over there, so I decided to do so too.
I also changed my name. I came up with "black and white and read all over", because it was a joke I used to remember as a little girl. Whats black and white and rad all over? A newspaper! So I thought having the name would increase my readership. Well it hasn't. Not hat readership is everything, but I sure love getting those comments from you.
So please comeover and leave a comment, change your link if you link to me and enjoy my new home in the blogshere!
http://canyoncottage.wordpress.com/
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Daylight Savings
I really owe the blog a post. Work hads been crazy busy the last 2 weeks and I have been letting it get to me.
I started WW (weight Watchers) 2 weeks ago. And so far I have been doing ok. Lost a total of 5 pounds. So only 15 more to go. I really should be shooting for a total of 30 pounds instead of 20, but I have come to the decision that It is too much work to be and stay that thin. If I can get down 20 pounds I will be quite content.
Roscoe started acting very weird last night. I am not quite sure what it is, he is still in the same place this morning. Ate his meals but is refusing to take treats. Which it really odd since he loves his treats.
I really hate daylight savings time. I don't like it to be light until 8 or 9 in the evening. I like winter time and all the things that go along with it, rain, cold, blustery days and early evenings. Daisy will be happy since now it will be light enough to walk her in the evening after work. She is the only one happy about the upcoming summer.
So I have realized after living here one year today. That I need to watch my budget much closer. I have had to dip into my meager savings two times this year to make ends meet. On was at Christmas, which was my own fault and now this next time is this time of year with taxes, house insurance and other various once a year bills come due. I need to make a budget and stick to it.
I started WW (weight Watchers) 2 weeks ago. And so far I have been doing ok. Lost a total of 5 pounds. So only 15 more to go. I really should be shooting for a total of 30 pounds instead of 20, but I have come to the decision that It is too much work to be and stay that thin. If I can get down 20 pounds I will be quite content.
Roscoe started acting very weird last night. I am not quite sure what it is, he is still in the same place this morning. Ate his meals but is refusing to take treats. Which it really odd since he loves his treats.
I really hate daylight savings time. I don't like it to be light until 8 or 9 in the evening. I like winter time and all the things that go along with it, rain, cold, blustery days and early evenings. Daisy will be happy since now it will be light enough to walk her in the evening after work. She is the only one happy about the upcoming summer.
So I have realized after living here one year today. That I need to watch my budget much closer. I have had to dip into my meager savings two times this year to make ends meet. On was at Christmas, which was my own fault and now this next time is this time of year with taxes, house insurance and other various once a year bills come due. I need to make a budget and stick to it.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Almost a Year
I realized I hadn’t posted in a month. I think I let the “stuff” get to me more than I should have, and just kind of shut down. I didn’t want to whine here about it, but I had nothing else to really say.
So ok now its over. I think I am back on track. It’s a cloudy and drizzly Saturday morning; I am sitting here waiting for a plumber, low water pressure in the kitchen and a leaky shower. Wanted to take care of it on my home warranty before it expires in 10 days,.
Yes, I will be here in my home for a year very soon. It doesn’t seem like it has been a year, but I suppose time flies faster as you get older.
Last night I went to D’s son’s 16th birthday party. It was in the dugout club behind home plate of our local LA baseball team. Yes a bit excessive, very excessive, but I being the good girlfriend just nodded and came along, to help chaperone 40 teenagers and listen to rap and hip hop for 4 hours. The other 4 adults that were going to assist in the chaperoning were no shows, must of heard about the music choice, but fortunately there was also security guards,, so when some of the girls thought it would be fun to run around the field, all the kids outside were ushered back inside and banned from going out. I just sat and smiled, sipped my wine and ate my peanuts.
I got home after midnight and was pooped! The old lady that I am is not used to staying up that late, unless it is watching old movies in bed. I had to get up early for a Saturday since the plumber indicated he would be here between 8 and 12. It is now 11:35 and no sign of him. I am a little miffed since I would have loved to stay in bed a while, but oh well perhaps a nap is in my future.
So ok now its over. I think I am back on track. It’s a cloudy and drizzly Saturday morning; I am sitting here waiting for a plumber, low water pressure in the kitchen and a leaky shower. Wanted to take care of it on my home warranty before it expires in 10 days,.
Yes, I will be here in my home for a year very soon. It doesn’t seem like it has been a year, but I suppose time flies faster as you get older.
Last night I went to D’s son’s 16th birthday party. It was in the dugout club behind home plate of our local LA baseball team. Yes a bit excessive, very excessive, but I being the good girlfriend just nodded and came along, to help chaperone 40 teenagers and listen to rap and hip hop for 4 hours. The other 4 adults that were going to assist in the chaperoning were no shows, must of heard about the music choice, but fortunately there was also security guards,, so when some of the girls thought it would be fun to run around the field, all the kids outside were ushered back inside and banned from going out. I just sat and smiled, sipped my wine and ate my peanuts.
I got home after midnight and was pooped! The old lady that I am is not used to staying up that late, unless it is watching old movies in bed. I had to get up early for a Saturday since the plumber indicated he would be here between 8 and 12. It is now 11:35 and no sign of him. I am a little miffed since I would have loved to stay in bed a while, but oh well perhaps a nap is in my future.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Just Another Post
This is just another post. I have been hiding out I suppose, although I hurt my back on my birthday last week and have been suffering with that, I went to the doc on Monday and she gave me some pain meds and said to stay home from work this week. Well of course that is close to impossible as I had several meetings. So I go into the office in the morning thinking I will leave early to go home and rest and take some meds, and of course it is almost impossible to leave, because of constant demands. I suppose I should have just said screw it and stayed home. But it’s a bad week to be home without anything to do.
I watched the movie Fast Food Nation on Sunday night. Bad move on my part. It was awful; I will never eat a hamburger again, and will probably never eat beef again. I was a vegetarian for years, when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. Now I enjoy a nice rib eye and a big juicy burger. Well those days are gone. I am not going to go into the detail, but if you want to give up meat, watch the movie.
I am going to try and go to the cemetery on Friday; it will be 2 years since Natalie died. She is buried in her plot with her mother, and I have not put a headstone there yet. The problem is that I can only have one. Barbara’s is there and was designed by the kids; it has her picture etched into it. So I don’t want to get rid of it. However I can’t put 2 stones there, so I have 2 choices, add Natalie’s information to the bottom of Barbara’s stone... Or remove that stone and design one for the 2 of them. I would like to get this done; I think it will give me some peace. I wanted Jake and Candice to help me decide, Jake is not into it, and he is away at school. Candice said she would come with me if she wasn’t working, so at least I can get her input. I am inclined to just add to the existing stone, if there is room for her name, thee dates and line that reads “It’s all about the love”.
I watched the movie Fast Food Nation on Sunday night. Bad move on my part. It was awful; I will never eat a hamburger again, and will probably never eat beef again. I was a vegetarian for years, when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. Now I enjoy a nice rib eye and a big juicy burger. Well those days are gone. I am not going to go into the detail, but if you want to give up meat, watch the movie.
I am going to try and go to the cemetery on Friday; it will be 2 years since Natalie died. She is buried in her plot with her mother, and I have not put a headstone there yet. The problem is that I can only have one. Barbara’s is there and was designed by the kids; it has her picture etched into it. So I don’t want to get rid of it. However I can’t put 2 stones there, so I have 2 choices, add Natalie’s information to the bottom of Barbara’s stone... Or remove that stone and design one for the 2 of them. I would like to get this done; I think it will give me some peace. I wanted Jake and Candice to help me decide, Jake is not into it, and he is away at school. Candice said she would come with me if she wasn’t working, so at least I can get her input. I am inclined to just add to the existing stone, if there is room for her name, thee dates and line that reads “It’s all about the love”.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Birthdays
This is a bad month for me. To many anniversary, birthdays, memories of sad things. The 16th was Nats birthday. That morning early maybe 2 or 3 am I dreamt about her. She came over and when she walked in the door I announced Nats here and went to her and gave her a big hug. The time before when I dreamt about her I woke myself up because I was scared. In my dream the phone was ringing, and as usual I let the answer machine pick up to screen. It was Natalie, she started to talk, and I started to panic. I woke myself up before I could pick up the phone. I was afraid to speak to her.
So for her birthday I made her favorite dish, Chicken Paprika. She loved it and I hardly ever made it because the ex was lactose intolerant and it needs sour cream. So I did it for her birthday and scooped out some for him before I added the sour cream. So I made it Wednesday with lots of sour cream and noodles. It was good. and the cooking was more healing than sad.
Candice and I finally spoke, she is coming over tonight so we can talk. She wants me to make up with Billy but I am not sure that I want to do any more than say I am sorry. I still think all those thing I said, I just wont say them any more.
So for her birthday I made her favorite dish, Chicken Paprika. She loved it and I hardly ever made it because the ex was lactose intolerant and it needs sour cream. So I did it for her birthday and scooped out some for him before I added the sour cream. So I made it Wednesday with lots of sour cream and noodles. It was good. and the cooking was more healing than sad.
Candice and I finally spoke, she is coming over tonight so we can talk. She wants me to make up with Billy but I am not sure that I want to do any more than say I am sorry. I still think all those thing I said, I just wont say them any more.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
We all make mistakes, right?
I did a really dumb thing Thursday night. I am not quite sure what made me snap, but I did. I think it is everything that is going on, it being the month of anniversaries of the horrible things. So there was then the straw that broke the camels back. I'm not even sure what it was.
I totally bitched out Candice's boyfriend. They have been together over 2 years. They have had their rough patches, he came home with hickeys on his neck after being out with his friends once, drove home from his brothers at UCI so drunk that when he got to Candice's he passed out in her bed and urinated, I cant stand the way he treats his mother, whom he still lives with, he is 27. I could go on, but the icing on the cake was when he quit his job late last summer. It was his first real job out of college, he was there less thank a year. A graphic designer he thinks he should be working for some big fashion agency. MEH. Any how so he decides he is better than this place, doesn't like the commute he isn't getting paid enough so he resigns. Needless to say he is still unemployed. Had some part time work, one job Candice got him. One job through an agency.
Its been bugging me. No one told him what a bad decision he made. He came over shortly after he quit and asked me to help him with his resume. I told him that with 1 year of experience he would never even get an interview, so we had to fluff up the experience on paper to at least get his foot in the door. So we did. I spent alot of time helping him with that resume.
But something snapped on Thursday. And I looked at him and started to tell him what an idiot he was or leaving his job, how he is not as good as he thinks he is, how disrespectful he is to his mother, how my daughter deserved better than him, and how he needed to grow up and get his own place. I went on and said lots of things that I shouldn't have lots of things that are none of my business. He ranted back and said some awful things to me, Candice said he was defending himself. One highlight he told me was that I had never even seen his resume, I ask him if he forgot that I wrote it. Oh, but the agency he went to told him to take those things out. Well that's cuz they are marketing him now. He is such an idiot.
I think deep inside I know that if Candice marries this guy, it will be a life of hell. He has a drinking problem, she has even admitted that to me that he doesn't know when to stop. he has already had one DUI. He is disrespectful of his mother, bringing people over late at night to party (now that he is not working) when she has to get up the next day. Once they were at my house for a BBQ and she came into the kitchen and told me he had said she shouldn't be wearing what she had on because it made her look fat. This woman is not fat. Maybe I am trying to protect her.
I apologized. I told Candice I was wrong. She was upset because of what his mom might think of me now. We always did things together as a family, but as he pointed out to me during the tirade, I am not his family. She hung up on me and now is not speaking to me. She is all I have, my niece that I raised as my daughter. Her sister is dead, she is now my best friend. It is killing me that she is so angry with me. It is killing me that I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.
I was wrong, I know that. But I think all of it has been festering for several months. He is an arrogant kid, he needs a swift kick, I suppose I thought I should be the one. Well it was and is non of my business, and now I have alienated my sweet girl. I am sick. I haven't been able to do anything but mope.
I need a hug.
I totally bitched out Candice's boyfriend. They have been together over 2 years. They have had their rough patches, he came home with hickeys on his neck after being out with his friends once, drove home from his brothers at UCI so drunk that when he got to Candice's he passed out in her bed and urinated, I cant stand the way he treats his mother, whom he still lives with, he is 27. I could go on, but the icing on the cake was when he quit his job late last summer. It was his first real job out of college, he was there less thank a year. A graphic designer he thinks he should be working for some big fashion agency. MEH. Any how so he decides he is better than this place, doesn't like the commute he isn't getting paid enough so he resigns. Needless to say he is still unemployed. Had some part time work, one job Candice got him. One job through an agency.
Its been bugging me. No one told him what a bad decision he made. He came over shortly after he quit and asked me to help him with his resume. I told him that with 1 year of experience he would never even get an interview, so we had to fluff up the experience on paper to at least get his foot in the door. So we did. I spent alot of time helping him with that resume.
But something snapped on Thursday. And I looked at him and started to tell him what an idiot he was or leaving his job, how he is not as good as he thinks he is, how disrespectful he is to his mother, how my daughter deserved better than him, and how he needed to grow up and get his own place. I went on and said lots of things that I shouldn't have lots of things that are none of my business. He ranted back and said some awful things to me, Candice said he was defending himself. One highlight he told me was that I had never even seen his resume, I ask him if he forgot that I wrote it. Oh, but the agency he went to told him to take those things out. Well that's cuz they are marketing him now. He is such an idiot.
I think deep inside I know that if Candice marries this guy, it will be a life of hell. He has a drinking problem, she has even admitted that to me that he doesn't know when to stop. he has already had one DUI. He is disrespectful of his mother, bringing people over late at night to party (now that he is not working) when she has to get up the next day. Once they were at my house for a BBQ and she came into the kitchen and told me he had said she shouldn't be wearing what she had on because it made her look fat. This woman is not fat. Maybe I am trying to protect her.
I apologized. I told Candice I was wrong. She was upset because of what his mom might think of me now. We always did things together as a family, but as he pointed out to me during the tirade, I am not his family. She hung up on me and now is not speaking to me. She is all I have, my niece that I raised as my daughter. Her sister is dead, she is now my best friend. It is killing me that she is so angry with me. It is killing me that I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.
I was wrong, I know that. But I think all of it has been festering for several months. He is an arrogant kid, he needs a swift kick, I suppose I thought I should be the one. Well it was and is non of my business, and now I have alienated my sweet girl. I am sick. I haven't been able to do anything but mope.
I need a hug.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Its Sunday
Its still raining here. We have had rain since Friday, much needed rain. Yesterday it remained cloudy and strayed dry until in the evening when it began to rain again. I like the rain, so I am not complaining, and we need the rain.
Took Jake to the airport yesterday and put him on a plane for home. I always feel so alone when he goes back to school after a break. Today is no exception.
Last night I went to a place called The Summit House in Fullerton fora birthday dinner with D and the Brat. Candice went too which was nice. There were 14 of us, it was a 90th birthday celebration for D's mom, who turned 90. She is amazing for her age. She looks 65 or 70, and is extremely alert and full of piss and vinegar.
I am really hungry for hamburger. So I am sitting here contemplating going out in the rain to do some grocery shopping, that is needed. Then driving through in and out for lunch.
Took Jake to the airport yesterday and put him on a plane for home. I always feel so alone when he goes back to school after a break. Today is no exception.
Last night I went to a place called The Summit House in Fullerton fora birthday dinner with D and the Brat. Candice went too which was nice. There were 14 of us, it was a 90th birthday celebration for D's mom, who turned 90. She is amazing for her age. She looks 65 or 70, and is extremely alert and full of piss and vinegar.
I am really hungry for hamburger. So I am sitting here contemplating going out in the rain to do some grocery shopping, that is needed. Then driving through in and out for lunch.
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