January 2006 divorce and death

January 31, 2006

Tomorrow we will be removing Nats life support, or really death support at this point. Please pray for us.

January 29, 2006

I am sitting here in the CTICU with Nat. She has been unresponsive but a little while ago she squeezed my hand when I asked her if she loved me. Her vent settings are higher, which means she is getting worse.

Hubby was here when I got here. I sat down with him and asked him to please think of the family, that I needed him so much, and to come home and help the whole family through this horrible sad time. And once we got through this we could address the marriage. I told him I really needed him to help me. He told me he is here for Nat but can't be here for me. I asked him to look into his heart for compassion, to not be selfish and think about our family, then he got up and left me alone.

I have been pretty strong thought this, today I am a mess. I am very sad about everything.

January 25, 2006


Natalie is dying, please pray for her peace.

January 21, 2006

In 2 days it is my birthday. My birthday wish is that my daughter does not die. She is very sick on a vent in chr

January 14, 2006
send me a note:

The week has drug by. I am not sure what I am doing or how I am doing it. It is rainy and cold this morning. I am sitting on the couch, with both dogs trying to get motivated to do some things. I really need to clean the fish tank, and go grocery shopping. Nat is still in the hospital, and I have been visiting her when I can. I spent the afternoon with her yesterday. Tomorrow is her 21st birthday.

I had a big low out with my boss on Thursday. We just have complete opposite views on how the department should be run.

January 8, 2006


Today is Sunday. The hubby who left me will be in Asia for 2-3 weeks. I don't know what to say. I appreciate those who send love and hugs. I guess I will post about it later.

Yesterday oldest daughter and best friend and best friends mom basically "made" me go with them to the beach for the night. We RV'd, it was ok. I really wasn't feeling up to it. But I took some nice photos, and tried to enjoy the time. The best part was in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep, and I listened to the waves crashing. They finally put me back to sleep.You can see my pics here if you wan't.

January 5, 2006


My husband left me today. He has moved out. I am numb.

January 3, 2006

Back to work today after almost 2 weeks off. YUK. That sums it right up. I got a speeding ticket on the way into the office. A great way to start the new year. The damn cops in my little town have no crime to chase so they go around giving speeding tickets and harassing the teenagers on skateboards.

I told my husband he needs to think about using some type of anti-depressant that maybe that's his problem. If he is o unhappy. And I even said it in a nice way!

For those of you who don't know I have a flickr account and uploaded some cute pics of Mitzi and the dogs. You can check them out here.

January 2, 2006

Happy New Year. I hope everyone had a good Holiday. Ours was quiet. Hubby made a Goose for Christmas dinner and last night we had roast Chicken and Latkes for the last night of Hanukkah. We stayed home New Years eve and this morning I watched as the floats melted as they journeyed down Colorado blvd in the pouring rain.

Two days after Christmas hubby sent me a note. It is actually a letter that I requested from him explaining why he is so unhappy. It outlined 4 basic things. Two of which I feel are from the past and things he can't let go of and two are things that he seems to dislike now, and previously he was ok with.

That's all I can deal with writing about right now. I will elaborate more later. But suffice to say, I asked him if he was so unhappy, and couldn't let go of the past what he was going to do. He said he wasn't sure. I asked if he was going to divorce me, he said he wasn't sure. So I am not sure what to do at this point.