Burning the candle at both ends

I am posting at 3 sites, not including my-meadow, my real home. They are:
Daisy the dog.
Rants and Raves and Reviews

And this one. Black and White and Read all over.

Maybe I am over doing it, I suppose I am just trying to keep busy. DUH!

A Ghost from the Past

There is something that I need major advice on. I am not sure if I have even mentioned it here on the blog, so I may need to backtrack a bit. Back on November 13 I received this e-mail:

"Hey Annie G,

I only have a moment. It's poker night. I'm pretty good at Texas Hold 'em. A man has to have his priorities straight. The reason I didn't receive your earlier e-mail is my account was closed. Just simply didn't have time to fool with it. As luck would have it, I'm currently building a vacation home for an attorney from St. Louis, who requires me to communicate via e-mail.

Mom died three years ago after a long wasting away kind of illness. Dan & Brenda are fine. We aren't nearly as close as we once were. Dan borrowed $ 150,000 from me to float a big electrical job he was doing. It took me six years to get it back. You can imagine that made me a little upset.....

So, would you be interested in marrying me & living happily ever after in Stringville on the Ponderosa???????????? Where are you going to find a world traveling, fifty year old man/child, who's never been married, has no children & loves you so much I'm crying as I type this letter.............................

cell xxxxxxxxxx

Gotta go. It's still poker night!

Love always,"

This was the third of a series of "catch up" e-mails. He finally got an e-mail about Natalie, and we started playing "catch up".

This is a man I lived with for 3 years in Tahoe. We broke up and 2 years later my sister died, I needed a contractor to help me fix up my house so I could sell it. He and his brother (an electrician) flew out to California (from Missouri) for a week and worked on the house. He also offered to marry me, as his sister an attorney indicated I would have a much better chance at getting custody of the kids if I was married, instead of single.

I kept in touch with his sister, we were very close, and occasionally I got a card of letter from him. I politely declined the proposal, but in my heart I wanted nothing more than to pick up and run away. The family owns a huge ranch in South East Missouri, a beautiful part of the country. I saw myself starting over and being free from this life of pain and sadness and really "starting over" but with someone familiar and kind.

But my sensible side takes over, my relationship with D, my job and retirement. I really love him even though I know that the fact his kid really is what is the most important. That became clear last week.

Anyhow I have had several e-mails, and a dozen long stemmed roses, and then this e-mail today:

"Hey Annie G,

What's the latest???????? Did you sell your house? Have you found new lodging? How many steps are there to the front door???????? Are you O.K.????????????????????????

Beth gave me a copy of the newsletter. You have had one hell of a year!!!
Speaking of which, I do believe Tuesday is the day of your birth!!! By all means, Happy Birthday to you, Annie G!!!!! I only wish I were there to celebrate with you. Maybe I could make you laugh out loud or give you an extended embrace from an old friend................ I'd better stop right
there- think I gettin' wood!

Now then! I am currently planning MY 50th birthday getaway. It includes palm trees, tropical breezes, secluded beaches, a 38 ft. sailboat w/captain, fine dining every night and all the adult beverage you care to consume on a daily basis! Remotely interested??????????

Seriously, Phil & I want you to join us for a week in the Carribean! Phil's birthday is April 6. Of course, mine is March 10th 7 yours is, well......tomorrow! We are flying into Tortola, sailing to Virgin Gorda to dine at "The Bitter End", come around to St. Johns for a day at Turtle Bay, maybe have some cocktails at "Skinny Legs", then onto Jost Van Dyke for an evening at Foxy's. Back to Tortola to check out the rock cliffs at "The Baats". Oh, and we have to purchase grossly overpriced t-shirts everywhere we stop!!!! You can be present in any capacity you choose, but you must be present!

I'd love for you to be there with us and so would Phil. You can have your pick of Staterooms. We'll grind fresh coffee beans for you every morning, bring you breakfast in bed, let you sleep until the "crack of noon". It will be our birthday gift to you! Ten years worth!! or more..............

Love you bunches! (Circles in fact)

Happy birthday Annie G!

Love always,"

This is on the verge of the man I am dating and having sex with forgets about my birthday, because he was too busy planning snowboard trips for his son, including one he is the chauffeur for, back to back weekends, and no one asked if maybe I would want to do something special for my birthday. Including asking me if I would like to join in on the Ski/snowboard trip. I am an avid skier in case I have not mentioned that, 10 years of living in Tahoe.

I suppose I should put up all the e-mails to really explain. But most of you would be bored. Any suggestions?

Another Day in Paradise

I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't take a sleeping pill either. I am trying to create some normalcy in my life, some routine, some type of happiness. It was just another Monday at work. I am waiting for the contingencies to be removed from our house; tomorrow is the deadline. I want to make an offer on a house, as I have mentioned. But I think that the snarky builder who is buying our place is holding out and will ask for more credits, even though we were very clear when we accepted his offer that we would offer NO credits and that we didn't want him to waste our time if he intended to try and nickel and dime us.

If you haven't seen the house these two links will take you to realtor.com listings which have several pictures. Different ones from each link.
http://www.realtor.com/Prop/1072515086
www.realtor.com/Prop/1072526330

He got a deal for what we gave it to him for!!! That's the scoop on the house. I will be writing an offer on the house around the corner on Wednesday, and submit it as soon as things are settled, if things are settled.

Out of Control

I lost it Friday night. I am really ashamed of myself. No one was here but the dogs. I was depressed, not sure about anything. Roscoe, or one of them, I am pretty sure it was Roscoe, pissed on my bed. I thew Roscoe across the room, I felt awful then I banged my head against the wall until could hardly see. Roscoe is fine, he landed on the big down comforter he peed on. I was drinking, which I do more than I should. I have a lump on my forehead, and am feeling pretty depressed.

I made myself dinner tonight. All by myself, all alone. Breaded chicken breasts, parmigiana, with spaghetti and sauce. They were good, to bad I didn't have someone to share them with. That would have been nice.

Past the Anger

Ok. So I am past all the anger I had last night. I have now fallen into the depression. Not even sure why. That was stupid, of course I know why. I have been dealing with so much, and now I am having to deal with the sale of my house and moving. Not to mention the fact that my son to be ex decided that he didn't want to give me the agreed upon amount for a spousal support settlement. I wont bore you with the gory details. But I am not signing any documents until i get in writing from him that the agreed upon disbursements of funds from escrow will be what he promised, or he signs the settlement agreement. God I want this to be over with already!

In case you would like to go there. Daisy the pink dog now has her very own website. She will be providing k-9 commentary, and also highlighting any significant doggy news that comes her way. Pimp her site for me!

Alone again, Naturally

Jake went back to school today. I took him to the airport an kissed him goodbye. He will have a rough time. He is now on academic probation, he he needs to pull his head out fast. Hopefully he will.

I am mad at the world. the people that supposedly love me just plain forgot that my fucking birthday is next week, so lets plan stuff out for spoiled rotten kid two weekends in a row. Gee maybe annie might want to do something, but who the fuck cares.

Oh well.

Home Perhaps

I think I found my home. Its basically around the corner. I was on the market, sold and then fell out of escrow. I think it was meant to be. The house is a little out of my price range, but I think they will come down a bit now.

I am scared to make an offer, yet excited too. I think that I will be living there in a couple months. But I don't want to jinx my luck. Its not a perfect house, but I like it. I can paint, and deal with the things that need to be updated a little at a time.

Day Two

Sick! Home coughing up a lung. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Taking cough medicine, cough drops advil and going through my third box of lkeenex in 3 days. I actually went to work yesterday, and have to go tomorrow. I feel better now than I did this morning. I think I am getting the cough under control with the meds.

The weather today was not January weather, it was at least 80, if not warmer. It will cool off tomorrw and perhaps rain later in the week. We get so little cool weather I just hate when our winter gets interrupted with some unseasonable temps.

The kids are coming for dinner. I am not up to it, but it will be easy, just rilling steaks and making some baked potatoes. I wil have candice put together a salad.

Day One

Today is the first day of escrow. So now I have 59 days to find a new home.

I decided to get ultra depressed so I watched Brokeback Mountain. It is such a beautiful love story. And the setting so reminds me of my life in Tahoe. God I want that back so badly.

This is a bad month for me. To many anniversaries. Barbara's death, asshole leaving me, Nata lie leaving us. That is not until February 1, but the whole month of January we watched her die.

Accepted

Well the counter offer that we submitted was accepted. The house will go into escrow on Monday and baring any problem it will close in 60 days, which will be March 8th.

No Room at the Inn

Well I went back to work this week. It was slow as expected, although I spent quite a bit of time trying to deal with an "impostor" my-space account that someone put up and used the picture of the Chief of Police of the City I work in. LOL. It was actually a pretty funny site. Next to his picture was "We are here to beat your Ass". Then a 4 minute clip of police brutality, some policemen beating the shit out of someone!!

So after about a dozen e-mails to my-space and our attorneys the site came down. The photo was taken off the City web site. People don't realize how easy it is to just steal your identity, camera phones, scanning, we sites. If it exists anywhere in cyberspace or in print it can be found and used.

Looks like the house sold. We are going back with the offer, counter offer game right now. But I think this will be it. I will soon have 60 days in which to find a new home and then start a new life. I suppose that should be a countdown I shouldn't miss.

Jacob got his grades. He failed every class but 1. I was appalled, so was he. I dont think he realized he had done that poorly. So now he is on academic probation. If he doesnt get his act together he will be kicked out, and have to come home and go to jr. college. This I would not be happy about, especially since in about 60 days I will be moving from my spaciouss 2500 sq ft home built on 4 lots, over a third of an acre. To a 1100 sq ft home built on a postage stamp. No room at the Inn. That will not be a "good thing".

Happy New Year

Today is the anniversary of my sisters death.