I took off today. My boss is out of town and I thought it might be nice to hang. I originally thought that D would also be off since he just got back from vacation, but he went back to work. One of my dearest friends, who was my maid of honor, that I had not seen for quite a while came over to see the house and go to lunch. Which was really nice, I needed to connect to someone, and it was perfect seeing her and catching up on things. She only lives about 30 miles away, but sometimes it seems like 10 times that.
We went to a little Greek place in town, she had Greek salad I had veggie sammie and a Greek side salad. It was good, we talked about divorces, she is going through one, and mine is finally over, gossip and the kids. I wish she was closer, she used to be my neighbor when I lived in Tahoe, that is how we met. I have known her for over 20 years.
I also took Daisy to get a bath. She has been itchy, and licking her paws alot. I hope that this will make her more comfortable.
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Another Weekend
So its Friday. Candice got back last week and she came over with her bf for dinner on Wednesday. It was good to see her, she had a fun time and got to experience both southern hospitality and the racism that is still rampant in areas of the US.
Today the Direct TV person is moving my receiver to my new den. Yes folks no more TV in the living room, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. I feel the living room/dinning room (mine is a combo)is for social interaction, and family time. If someone puts on the TV that ends quickly. If you want to watch TV, go to the den so everyone does not have to watch with you.
This stems from a variety of things. I hate watching the shows the kids used to watch, I would prefer quiet, and at the old house this is the way I set things up, but the house was huge and the den had built in everything for the TV and other components.
Here I have a spare bedroom that works as a small den. One whole wall is built in shelves which will be great for a flat panel once I get around to buying one (months from now I am sure).
I fit a love seat and 2 chairs in it, perfect for TV viewing. So the last thing to do was to have the TV moved. Well since that part of the house is built on a slab it has become a big project to get the cables for the Direct TV run there. He was under the house, now on the roof. Its gonna happen its just taking hours. Once the TV is installed I will set up the rest of the room. Have a couple of hours of stuff to do, then hang some pictures on the wall. Tonight I will be watching TV in that room. Not to mention it is on the NW corner of the house and is the coolest room in the summer time.
I am taking Daisy to a trainer this afternoon. She has issues when going for walks and seeing other dogs. So i am going to see what I can do to work on it. I think the main problem is Roscoe. He goes crazy then Daisy follows suite. We have pretty much confirmed this as yesterday walking Daisy with out Roscoe and things were much better.
This last week at work was really hell. My boss is a complete asshole. It is amazing what a thoughtless, lazy, jerk he is.
Today the Direct TV person is moving my receiver to my new den. Yes folks no more TV in the living room, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. I feel the living room/dinning room (mine is a combo)is for social interaction, and family time. If someone puts on the TV that ends quickly. If you want to watch TV, go to the den so everyone does not have to watch with you.
This stems from a variety of things. I hate watching the shows the kids used to watch, I would prefer quiet, and at the old house this is the way I set things up, but the house was huge and the den had built in everything for the TV and other components.
Here I have a spare bedroom that works as a small den. One whole wall is built in shelves which will be great for a flat panel once I get around to buying one (months from now I am sure).
I fit a love seat and 2 chairs in it, perfect for TV viewing. So the last thing to do was to have the TV moved. Well since that part of the house is built on a slab it has become a big project to get the cables for the Direct TV run there. He was under the house, now on the roof. Its gonna happen its just taking hours. Once the TV is installed I will set up the rest of the room. Have a couple of hours of stuff to do, then hang some pictures on the wall. Tonight I will be watching TV in that room. Not to mention it is on the NW corner of the house and is the coolest room in the summer time.
I am taking Daisy to a trainer this afternoon. She has issues when going for walks and seeing other dogs. So i am going to see what I can do to work on it. I think the main problem is Roscoe. He goes crazy then Daisy follows suite. We have pretty much confirmed this as yesterday walking Daisy with out Roscoe and things were much better.
This last week at work was really hell. My boss is a complete asshole. It is amazing what a thoughtless, lazy, jerk he is.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Catching up
It's been awhile. Not sure why I have been away, maybe it is just laziness. Things have been OK. I had a new roof put on the house. It is the first of several big projects I am looking at. Financially I can only afford one more, so I will have to see what really needs to be done before I make my decision. The 3 things are painting inside, painting outside and a new wood fence around the property. I also need to completely redo one of the bathrooms, but that is at least a couple years away. I am leaning towards painting the inside. The fence will be OK, I put boards and cement block up in the places where Roscoe could get under. It has held since March, so that should be fine. And outside I am not sure it really "needs" it yet. Maybe next year. Inside I have some obnoxious colors, like my RED kitchen, that I would really like to see go away! I probably could do some of it myself if I knew what I was doing, but I don't. And I think there is some oil based paint to deal with too.
I am leaving tomorrow for 5 days. D and I are going to Cambria. Renting a house, for R&R and some antiquing and wine tasting. I haven't really been looking forward to it until today. I took the day off to pack, and get some last minute things done. Jake is staying home so I need to make sure he has a stocked kitchen, he will also be taking care of Daisy and Roscoe. Sprock is going to the vet to be boarded. I don't trust the 3 of them without my supervision for that long.
I hope all of you are well. I wish somehow I could reach out through cyberspace and hug you.
I am leaving tomorrow for 5 days. D and I are going to Cambria. Renting a house, for R&R and some antiquing and wine tasting. I haven't really been looking forward to it until today. I took the day off to pack, and get some last minute things done. Jake is staying home so I need to make sure he has a stocked kitchen, he will also be taking care of Daisy and Roscoe. Sprock is going to the vet to be boarded. I don't trust the 3 of them without my supervision for that long.
I hope all of you are well. I wish somehow I could reach out through cyberspace and hug you.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The Weekend
Well for once I have had a semi-productive weekend. Friday I took advantage of the sale at Osh, and avoided the weekend crowds. Came home with 5 medium large pots. And 5 bags of wood chips. The pots are for the patio, I want to container garden and put some flowering and pretty green plants on the patio. Right now I have 2 pretty large ficus trees, and thought some additional color would be nice. The wood chips are to spread under a trellis that I have in the back yard. There is a dirt area that I want to put tow more Adirondack chairs on and it gets quite dusty, so the chips should make it look nicer while keeping the dust down at bit.
Yesterday I went to the farmers market and took Daisy and Roscoe into the groomers for baths! Sprocket will go next weekend, he gets a cut too. Then I decided to finish unpacking the last room. It only took a couple hours to either put away or throw away the last of the "stuff". I still have to put together on of my claw foot tables, need some screws, and hand a couple more pictures. Other than that its done. The only problem is that it is now a room with no use. So far my treadmill and a bookcase and a small chest are in there, but it has no function.
I want to turn it into a TV room, but that means getting the direct TV people out here to move the box, and to also get something to sit on in there. I am thinking the multi functional futon would be a good idea. So I have a place for any potential guests to sleep, and a couple of comfy chairs. That still leave my treadmill in the middle of it all, but oh well. THats the next step.
Today Jake is having a bunch of his friends over for a late birthday celebration. I got to get to the market to pick up snacks and sodas, I will be taking them all out for a Chinese feast later in the afternoon. We will go to a very traditional chinese rsturant in the heart of a nearby heavily Asian community. The place is a hole inthe wall but has great food, and thankfully prints there menu in english and chinese. My favorite is Soup DUmplings. yum.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Melancholy Baby
Feeling a little bit so. Also sick, cough,cough, sneeze, sneeze, blow, blow, sigh. Natalie is on my mind tonight.
Daisy's blog has some new entries too.
Daisy's blog has some new entries too.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Holding On
How do we put one foot in front of another, get out of bed in the morning, and make it through the day. How do we hold on to sanity when the odds are all against it. How do we manage. Why can't we change what has happened, control the past the outcome, make it all better. Why?
Today when I thought I was holding on, i lost it. Driving home, i saw it in the road, i thought it was a squirrel. It was a small dog, a chihuahua laying dead in the road. All alone, small and helpless. There was nothing I could do but cry. Be sad for the poor thing, that had no collar, probably no responsible owner. Otherwise it would be sitting on a pink pillow eating something yummy. I HATE irresponsible dog owners.
The only think I could do for the poor thing, was cry, was to sob all the way home, being sad for why it happened. Wishing it had not, dreaming that I could change the impossible. Because I can't make you come back little baby. You are gone, and it is sad, and I am soo sorry.
Today when I thought I was holding on, i lost it. Driving home, i saw it in the road, i thought it was a squirrel. It was a small dog, a chihuahua laying dead in the road. All alone, small and helpless. There was nothing I could do but cry. Be sad for the poor thing, that had no collar, probably no responsible owner. Otherwise it would be sitting on a pink pillow eating something yummy. I HATE irresponsible dog owners.
The only think I could do for the poor thing, was cry, was to sob all the way home, being sad for why it happened. Wishing it had not, dreaming that I could change the impossible. Because I can't make you come back little baby. You are gone, and it is sad, and I am soo sorry.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Burning the candle at both ends
I am posting at 3 sites, not including my-meadow, my real home. They are:
Daisy the dog.
Rants and Raves and Reviews
And this one. Black and White and Read all over.
Maybe I am over doing it, I suppose I am just trying to keep busy. DUH!
Daisy the dog.
Rants and Raves and Reviews
And this one. Black and White and Read all over.
Maybe I am over doing it, I suppose I am just trying to keep busy. DUH!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Out of Control
I lost it Friday night. I am really ashamed of myself. No one was here but the dogs. I was depressed, not sure about anything. Roscoe, or one of them, I am pretty sure it was Roscoe, pissed on my bed. I thew Roscoe across the room, I felt awful then I banged my head against the wall until could hardly see. Roscoe is fine, he landed on the big down comforter he peed on. I was drinking, which I do more than I should. I have a lump on my forehead, and am feeling pretty depressed.
I made myself dinner tonight. All by myself, all alone. Breaded chicken breasts, parmigiana, with spaghetti and sauce. They were good, to bad I didn't have someone to share them with. That would have been nice.
I made myself dinner tonight. All by myself, all alone. Breaded chicken breasts, parmigiana, with spaghetti and sauce. They were good, to bad I didn't have someone to share them with. That would have been nice.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Past the Anger
Ok. So I am past all the anger I had last night. I have now fallen into the depression. Not even sure why. That was stupid, of course I know why. I have been dealing with so much, and now I am having to deal with the sale of my house and moving. Not to mention the fact that my son to be ex decided that he didn't want to give me the agreed upon amount for a spousal support settlement. I wont bore you with the gory details. But I am not signing any documents until i get in writing from him that the agreed upon disbursements of funds from escrow will be what he promised, or he signs the settlement agreement. God I want this to be over with already!
In case you would like to go there. Daisy the pink dog now has her very own website. She will be providing k-9 commentary, and also highlighting any significant doggy news that comes her way. Pimp her site for me!
In case you would like to go there. Daisy the pink dog now has her very own website. She will be providing k-9 commentary, and also highlighting any significant doggy news that comes her way. Pimp her site for me!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Snarky
I am in a foul mood, and have been for the last few days. I am dreading the upcoming hoildays, my house is on the market which means it has to be picked up and clean every morning before I leave for the office. This is not me. I like leaving my underware on the floor in the bathroom, and not making my bed. Dishes need to be washed, which I rarely do. I load the dishwasher until full then leave the rest in the sink until Thursday when the cleanng lady comes and finishes up. Now remember its just little ole me in the house now, so we are not talking a huge pile, we are talking a few glasses and a plate or two in the sink.
I even have to leave tonight so the house can be shown at 7 pm. I will not tolerate this level of inconvenience for very long.
On the other hand there have been lots of showings, and realtor open houses yesterday, today and tomorrow, with an advertised one for buyers on this Sunday. I think it may sell fairly quickly. Which means I will be homeless sooner than later.
I did find a very cute place, which I will be seeing for the second time tomorrw. I will take D there for his opinion. The only drawback is that there is no yard. Only a patio. There is hillside in the front, but without terracing it would be too steep for the dogs. This is a possibly big problem. I love the house, but what do I do about the pooches?
I even have to leave tonight so the house can be shown at 7 pm. I will not tolerate this level of inconvenience for very long.
On the other hand there have been lots of showings, and realtor open houses yesterday, today and tomorrow, with an advertised one for buyers on this Sunday. I think it may sell fairly quickly. Which means I will be homeless sooner than later.
I did find a very cute place, which I will be seeing for the second time tomorrw. I will take D there for his opinion. The only drawback is that there is no yard. Only a patio. There is hillside in the front, but without terracing it would be too steep for the dogs. This is a possibly big problem. I love the house, but what do I do about the pooches?
Saturday, March 04, 2006
March 2006 through July 2006
July 18, 2006
I am journaling again!!!! But in a different spot. Send me and e-mail and I will give you my new URL!
May 18, 2006
I realize I have not posted for a month. I am not sure what I am doing, avoiding. Mitzi did not come back. Sadly. I found out the jerk filed the divorce papers 2 days after we buried Natalie. Divorce is not a fun thing.
April 19, 2006
Still no Meemo. Every time I drive in or out of my driveway I look everywhere, every time I go outside I walk the perimeter and call her.
April 10, 2006
Mitzi is still MIA. I got up several times during the night to check the porch. I thought she might come back to eat. I am a mess about this. I called the vet and the spca. They both were not very encouraging about her returning. They said 50/50 if she doesn't get eaten.
I have to stay for a meeting tonight. Which means I won't be able to look for her before dark again.
The weekend had started off so well too. Friday was probably the best day I have had all year, then this happens.
April 9, 2006
Somehow yesterday Mitzi got out of the house. I had the front door open about 20 minutes while I was hosing off the porch and stairs because of the mess left from all the rain we had. I didn't realize she was gone until last night about 6-6:30 when she wasn't coming out to eat. She always comes into the kitchen when I feed the dogs. She likes to eat then too. I looked all over, this morning I put up signs. Does anyone out there know how to get a house cat to come back home once she has escaped??? I have put food out at various spots in the yard, up from where the dogs could get it. I also have tried to keep the dogs in all day today so she won't be afraid of coming in the yard. Even though she gets along with them she might be hesitant. God please say prayers Mitzi comes home!!!! I don't need this right now!!!!!
April 3, 2006
Friday night I had Candice over, one of Nat's best friends was home from college so she came over with her mom and sister, and several other of the girls friends came too! I think there we 10 of in all. I got lasagna and shells, from my favorite Italian deli, and I made sausages and peppers. It was fun. All the girls are over 21 so we drank lots of wine. It was good for my soul to see all the girls. I just wish Nat was there with us.
Yesterday I had my weekly puppy class with Daisy. She is really smart, and when I do reinforcement training at home I am getting Roscoe to learn too. He likes the treats!! Those two love each other. We also went to the dog park. I just love going there and now with the time change we will be able to go after work too.
Today I was a veg. I got up late and am still in my jammies. I am making some steaks for dinner, I have had a craving for a piece of meat. The Sopranos is on too, so it will be a relaxing evening.
I put up a page for Meemo.
March 31, 2006
It looks like it will rain again this afternoon. I like the rain, it is just that when it rains I can't take the dogs to the dog park, and we all really enjoy going.
I finally have a repair man coming out this morning to fix the heater. It has not worked for months! I have two units, the one where the bedrooms are is functioning fine! don't worry I have not been freezing all winter!
March 28, 2006
Today is Tuesday, which means tomorrow will be Wednesday. Not that it really matters.
I just got a phone call from the transplant coordinator at K@sier. Hearing her voice made me cry. She used to call me alot when Natalie was sick, I would call her to get updates on Nat, as she had ready access to the doc's and other information. I suppose because of the strong connection to Natalie, it just was over whelming. I wanted the autopsy results from nats lungs to determine what caused her to reject. It is not ready yet.
Daisy is coming along. She is really a sweet dog, and minds pretty well now. I still will not leave Sprocket and Daisy in the same area with out supervision. But Daisy makes me smile, she snuggles with me at night.
March 23, 2006
I made it through a whole week of work. Some mornings it is just really hard to get out of bed, but I find if I do, and get my but to work the interactions with people help alot. Even if I am not getting as much done as I should. This week I had to get my preliminary budget done. So that kept me quite busy.
I miss my husband alot. I spoke to him today on the phone. The stove broke last night and I wanted to make sure he would pay for a new one if it could not be fixed. I e-mailed him in China and he called me. I cried after I hung up. I want to be angry, but I am lonely. I told him I had not spoken to a lawyer yet, and for him not to expect me to have done it by the time he gets home. He didn't say anything.
March 13, 2006
I am lonely. I have figured out what is bothering me the most. I don't have any friends. I spend my life taking care of my kids and husband. Now there are no kids or husband. Jacob is low maintenance. I am high maintenance.
So I almost didn't go into work. I was feeling ultra depressed, and my assistant called me and told me I had a conference call with an attorney and HR. oh shit, I was in the office within an hour.
March 12, 2006
Time is just passing. I am not even sure of its purpose anymore.
I went to the awards dinner, it was nice. I can't say I really enjoyed myself, but it was fine. I got dressed up, felt good, and got compliments, so that was self esteem building, at least.
I got on the scale this morning and have lost 13 pounds. I am excited because I have another month to lose, and I might won the diet contest!
I hired a trainer for Daisy, after we had an altercation with Sprocket, who ended up with several puncture wounds and 3 stitches. I didn't want to give her back to the rescue, I wanted to try. So we are working on her behavior, and I am taking her to the dog park with Roscoe. She is forcing me to get up early, and have something to do, other than the little pity party's I have been having in the evenings. We also start puppy class next Saturday.
In case you guys are wondering what she looks like:
March 7, 2006
Today someone I don't even know told me that I was not pathetic. GOD how that helps. Thanks you who ever you are, I would like to know you.
March 6, 2006
I am pathetic. I went to work today, feeling yucky. Came home early about 4ish. I at least got all my performance reviews written for my employees, there were several due. I have one more to write. I am also attempting to reclassify 2 of my employees, I have approval for one. We will see what my a33hole boss says about the other.
I have to go to a semi-formal dinner Friday . It is an employee recognition dinner, and I have 4 employees being recognized, for longevity. So I have to do the presentations. I don't want to go, I don't want to go especially alone, and I don't have anything to wear, and I can't imagine looking for a dress right now. Can't I just wear sweats? This is not a good thing.
I suppose I can try on all my little black dresses and see if any fit me. Maybe there is one that is bigger than the little one.
This will be my first "stag" outing, and my first social appearance since Natalie died. Which means I will have to go through more condolences, or stares. Hopefully no one will ask where hubby is, JUST LOOK AT THE FINGER!
Ok, so maybe I should find a boy toy to go with me, so no one says anything to my face, they will all just be whispering behind my back. I can deal with that. Good gossip is fun.
Please say a prayer for my friend Y, she is going through hell too.
March 4, 2006
It has been a while since I have written. Not much has changed. I met with Andy last Sunday to give him his mail. He definitely wants a divorce, he does not want to try to work out our life together. I still just don't get it all.
I went back to work, which keeps me quite busy. I also got another dog, Daisy. It was the one Natalie wanted to get when she was out of the hospital.
I am journaling again!!!! But in a different spot. Send me and e-mail and I will give you my new URL!
May 18, 2006
I realize I have not posted for a month. I am not sure what I am doing, avoiding. Mitzi did not come back. Sadly. I found out the jerk filed the divorce papers 2 days after we buried Natalie. Divorce is not a fun thing.
April 19, 2006
Still no Meemo. Every time I drive in or out of my driveway I look everywhere, every time I go outside I walk the perimeter and call her.
April 10, 2006
Mitzi is still MIA. I got up several times during the night to check the porch. I thought she might come back to eat. I am a mess about this. I called the vet and the spca. They both were not very encouraging about her returning. They said 50/50 if she doesn't get eaten.
I have to stay for a meeting tonight. Which means I won't be able to look for her before dark again.
The weekend had started off so well too. Friday was probably the best day I have had all year, then this happens.
April 9, 2006
Somehow yesterday Mitzi got out of the house. I had the front door open about 20 minutes while I was hosing off the porch and stairs because of the mess left from all the rain we had. I didn't realize she was gone until last night about 6-6:30 when she wasn't coming out to eat. She always comes into the kitchen when I feed the dogs. She likes to eat then too. I looked all over, this morning I put up signs. Does anyone out there know how to get a house cat to come back home once she has escaped??? I have put food out at various spots in the yard, up from where the dogs could get it. I also have tried to keep the dogs in all day today so she won't be afraid of coming in the yard. Even though she gets along with them she might be hesitant. God please say prayers Mitzi comes home!!!! I don't need this right now!!!!!
April 3, 2006
Friday night I had Candice over, one of Nat's best friends was home from college so she came over with her mom and sister, and several other of the girls friends came too! I think there we 10 of in all. I got lasagna and shells, from my favorite Italian deli, and I made sausages and peppers. It was fun. All the girls are over 21 so we drank lots of wine. It was good for my soul to see all the girls. I just wish Nat was there with us.
Yesterday I had my weekly puppy class with Daisy. She is really smart, and when I do reinforcement training at home I am getting Roscoe to learn too. He likes the treats!! Those two love each other. We also went to the dog park. I just love going there and now with the time change we will be able to go after work too.
Today I was a veg. I got up late and am still in my jammies. I am making some steaks for dinner, I have had a craving for a piece of meat. The Sopranos is on too, so it will be a relaxing evening.
I put up a page for Meemo.
March 31, 2006
It looks like it will rain again this afternoon. I like the rain, it is just that when it rains I can't take the dogs to the dog park, and we all really enjoy going.
I finally have a repair man coming out this morning to fix the heater. It has not worked for months! I have two units, the one where the bedrooms are is functioning fine! don't worry I have not been freezing all winter!
March 28, 2006
Today is Tuesday, which means tomorrow will be Wednesday. Not that it really matters.
I just got a phone call from the transplant coordinator at K@sier. Hearing her voice made me cry. She used to call me alot when Natalie was sick, I would call her to get updates on Nat, as she had ready access to the doc's and other information. I suppose because of the strong connection to Natalie, it just was over whelming. I wanted the autopsy results from nats lungs to determine what caused her to reject. It is not ready yet.
Daisy is coming along. She is really a sweet dog, and minds pretty well now. I still will not leave Sprocket and Daisy in the same area with out supervision. But Daisy makes me smile, she snuggles with me at night.
March 23, 2006
I made it through a whole week of work. Some mornings it is just really hard to get out of bed, but I find if I do, and get my but to work the interactions with people help alot. Even if I am not getting as much done as I should. This week I had to get my preliminary budget done. So that kept me quite busy.
I miss my husband alot. I spoke to him today on the phone. The stove broke last night and I wanted to make sure he would pay for a new one if it could not be fixed. I e-mailed him in China and he called me. I cried after I hung up. I want to be angry, but I am lonely. I told him I had not spoken to a lawyer yet, and for him not to expect me to have done it by the time he gets home. He didn't say anything.
March 13, 2006
I am lonely. I have figured out what is bothering me the most. I don't have any friends. I spend my life taking care of my kids and husband. Now there are no kids or husband. Jacob is low maintenance. I am high maintenance.
So I almost didn't go into work. I was feeling ultra depressed, and my assistant called me and told me I had a conference call with an attorney and HR. oh shit, I was in the office within an hour.
March 12, 2006
Time is just passing. I am not even sure of its purpose anymore.
I went to the awards dinner, it was nice. I can't say I really enjoyed myself, but it was fine. I got dressed up, felt good, and got compliments, so that was self esteem building, at least.
I got on the scale this morning and have lost 13 pounds. I am excited because I have another month to lose, and I might won the diet contest!
I hired a trainer for Daisy, after we had an altercation with Sprocket, who ended up with several puncture wounds and 3 stitches. I didn't want to give her back to the rescue, I wanted to try. So we are working on her behavior, and I am taking her to the dog park with Roscoe. She is forcing me to get up early, and have something to do, other than the little pity party's I have been having in the evenings. We also start puppy class next Saturday.
In case you guys are wondering what she looks like:
March 7, 2006
Today someone I don't even know told me that I was not pathetic. GOD how that helps. Thanks you who ever you are, I would like to know you.
March 6, 2006
I am pathetic. I went to work today, feeling yucky. Came home early about 4ish. I at least got all my performance reviews written for my employees, there were several due. I have one more to write. I am also attempting to reclassify 2 of my employees, I have approval for one. We will see what my a33hole boss says about the other.
I have to go to a semi-formal dinner Friday . It is an employee recognition dinner, and I have 4 employees being recognized, for longevity. So I have to do the presentations. I don't want to go, I don't want to go especially alone, and I don't have anything to wear, and I can't imagine looking for a dress right now. Can't I just wear sweats? This is not a good thing.
I suppose I can try on all my little black dresses and see if any fit me. Maybe there is one that is bigger than the little one.
This will be my first "stag" outing, and my first social appearance since Natalie died. Which means I will have to go through more condolences, or stares. Hopefully no one will ask where hubby is, JUST LOOK AT THE FINGER!
Ok, so maybe I should find a boy toy to go with me, so no one says anything to my face, they will all just be whispering behind my back. I can deal with that. Good gossip is fun.
Please say a prayer for my friend Y, she is going through hell too.
March 4, 2006
It has been a while since I have written. Not much has changed. I met with Andy last Sunday to give him his mail. He definitely wants a divorce, he does not want to try to work out our life together. I still just don't get it all.
I went back to work, which keeps me quite busy. I also got another dog, Daisy. It was the one Natalie wanted to get when she was out of the hospital.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
February 2006 Natalies Death
February 18, 2006
Later that same day....
I am numb. I checked out pretty early today. It is only 7:15, I got the boys a pizza and wings, delivered, thank god.
I am hurting real bad now. I am not sure what is going on. I miss Nat, she was always the one to try and cheer me up, and be there. So I suppose if Andy had not left, Nat could have pulled me through. She would have kept me going. Candice is to involved with her jobs and boy friend, Jake is to young, Nat was an old soul, like me.
February 18, 2006
I woke up early this morning and lazed in bed until about 8, then I got the laptop and brought it back to bed with me, turned up the heat and replied to some e-mails that I owed people. Right now I don't know what I would do without my on-line friends. I am really enjoying getting e-mails, so mail away if you are so inclined.
Mitzi (or memo as I now call her) is back to her old self now that all the company has gone. She really is not good with strangers.
I am not sure what today has in store. I think I am going to go to lunch with Candice, then to the market. I need to write thank you notes for flowers and such. The problem is some of the flowers cards were missing. I hope people understand if they don't get a thank you.
I am still numb about my whole situation. I spoke to Andy Thursday and he asked how Jake was. I told him, I wasn't sure. He should call him. I can't imagine losing your sister and the only man that you have ever know as your father all at once.
I can't imagine losing my daughter and my husband either.
February 16, 2006
I got on-line yesterday to read journals and one of my favorite reads is closed. Yvonne's is a wonderful woman. I am going to miss her dearly.
I came into work today for a few hours, mainly so I wouldn't be alone as my friend who has been staying with me left this morning. It really hit me hard that now I will be alone in the house with a 17 year old. She has been a huge source of support, making me laugh, keeping me balanced.
It seems like after we buried Nat that no one calls anymore.
February 8, 2006
A very close friend of mine drove down from Northern California yesterday to spend some time with me. She arrived yesterday and immediately got me back on track, treadmill, getting out of bed early and today a manicure.
She brought her big dog with her and while she was walking him later this afternoon, I got on the treadmill to watch the food channel. I love hearing Paula Dean say the word "butter". Any how I was going along and heard the front door open and a "Hola", I called to Jake in his room that Candice was here and he should tell her I was in the back bedroom. He obliged, and came back a few minutes later and said that no one had come in.
I know I heard "Hola" and the door open and close. Nat always came over unannounced with coffee (she worked at Peet's) or for dinner. Candice never came over unless she told me. Guess who was here.
I am sure it was Nat. I know it sounds crazy, but it was. She wanted me to know she was back here and ok. "Hola"
February 7, 2006
I can't stay away forever. I am having a hard time putting together my thoughts, however I am having to do so today. I had to write a tribute for the Alumni newsletter, and the petitions for the Mass Saturday. SO I thought I would put up the tribute for you to read.
It's all about the Love
Natalie Catrine embraced her life, and embraced those around her with her beautiful smile. Natalie was part of the 2003 Alverno graduating class, she made many very close forever friends that held her hands as she received her wings.
Natalie battled Cystic Fibrosis, eventually receiving a living donor lung transplant from her sister Candice and her second cousin Scott who traveled from Wisconsin to donate. In spite of these challenges, when I look back on her life she experienced so much.
Alverno was the place of Natalies catharsis, she grew up here and as her senior project was presented we all realized she had finally accepted her disease. She gave a presentation about Cystic Fibrosis, but she also took us into the sorrow and sadness she experienced while in denial of her sickness, and wanting to be like everyone else. Telling her whole school and faculty this made me realize she had finally come to terms with herself.
Though she only was with us for 21 short years, Natalie experienced a lifetime of fun and experiences. She lived in Lake Tahoe and learned to ski, she made several trips to the east coast to visit family, Natalie spent 4 weeks in Costa Rica living participating in a program to build a school in a small village. Natalie, went away to college at Cal State Monterey Bay , she fell in love, and lived independently after her transplant. She loved Pablo Neruda poetry, gummie bears, her dog Roscoe, and her favorite saying was “It’s all about the love”.
February 2, 2006
Natalie Catrine
January 16 1985 - February 1, 2006
Later that same day....
I am numb. I checked out pretty early today. It is only 7:15, I got the boys a pizza and wings, delivered, thank god.
I am hurting real bad now. I am not sure what is going on. I miss Nat, she was always the one to try and cheer me up, and be there. So I suppose if Andy had not left, Nat could have pulled me through. She would have kept me going. Candice is to involved with her jobs and boy friend, Jake is to young, Nat was an old soul, like me.
February 18, 2006
I woke up early this morning and lazed in bed until about 8, then I got the laptop and brought it back to bed with me, turned up the heat and replied to some e-mails that I owed people. Right now I don't know what I would do without my on-line friends. I am really enjoying getting e-mails, so mail away if you are so inclined.
Mitzi (or memo as I now call her) is back to her old self now that all the company has gone. She really is not good with strangers.
I am not sure what today has in store. I think I am going to go to lunch with Candice, then to the market. I need to write thank you notes for flowers and such. The problem is some of the flowers cards were missing. I hope people understand if they don't get a thank you.
I am still numb about my whole situation. I spoke to Andy Thursday and he asked how Jake was. I told him, I wasn't sure. He should call him. I can't imagine losing your sister and the only man that you have ever know as your father all at once.
I can't imagine losing my daughter and my husband either.
February 16, 2006
I got on-line yesterday to read journals and one of my favorite reads is closed. Yvonne's is a wonderful woman. I am going to miss her dearly.
I came into work today for a few hours, mainly so I wouldn't be alone as my friend who has been staying with me left this morning. It really hit me hard that now I will be alone in the house with a 17 year old. She has been a huge source of support, making me laugh, keeping me balanced.
It seems like after we buried Nat that no one calls anymore.
February 8, 2006
A very close friend of mine drove down from Northern California yesterday to spend some time with me. She arrived yesterday and immediately got me back on track, treadmill, getting out of bed early and today a manicure.
She brought her big dog with her and while she was walking him later this afternoon, I got on the treadmill to watch the food channel. I love hearing Paula Dean say the word "butter". Any how I was going along and heard the front door open and a "Hola", I called to Jake in his room that Candice was here and he should tell her I was in the back bedroom. He obliged, and came back a few minutes later and said that no one had come in.
I know I heard "Hola" and the door open and close. Nat always came over unannounced with coffee (she worked at Peet's) or for dinner. Candice never came over unless she told me. Guess who was here.
I am sure it was Nat. I know it sounds crazy, but it was. She wanted me to know she was back here and ok. "Hola"
February 7, 2006
I can't stay away forever. I am having a hard time putting together my thoughts, however I am having to do so today. I had to write a tribute for the Alumni newsletter, and the petitions for the Mass Saturday. SO I thought I would put up the tribute for you to read.
It's all about the Love
Natalie Catrine embraced her life, and embraced those around her with her beautiful smile. Natalie was part of the 2003 Alverno graduating class, she made many very close forever friends that held her hands as she received her wings.
Natalie battled Cystic Fibrosis, eventually receiving a living donor lung transplant from her sister Candice and her second cousin Scott who traveled from Wisconsin to donate. In spite of these challenges, when I look back on her life she experienced so much.
Alverno was the place of Natalies catharsis, she grew up here and as her senior project was presented we all realized she had finally accepted her disease. She gave a presentation about Cystic Fibrosis, but she also took us into the sorrow and sadness she experienced while in denial of her sickness, and wanting to be like everyone else. Telling her whole school and faculty this made me realize she had finally come to terms with herself.
Though she only was with us for 21 short years, Natalie experienced a lifetime of fun and experiences. She lived in Lake Tahoe and learned to ski, she made several trips to the east coast to visit family, Natalie spent 4 weeks in Costa Rica living participating in a program to build a school in a small village. Natalie, went away to college at Cal State Monterey Bay , she fell in love, and lived independently after her transplant. She loved Pablo Neruda poetry, gummie bears, her dog Roscoe, and her favorite saying was “It’s all about the love”.
February 2, 2006
Natalie Catrine
January 16 1985 - February 1, 2006
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